Monthly Archives: September 2026

Fresh (2022)

I’m going to skip out on mentioning the scare of this podcast-instigated movie, because honestly even knowing the genre is bad enough of a spoiler without going into detail. The style was “female director”, which makes honestly a lot of sense, as focused as the movie is on the frustrations and fears that women face in the dating world. So I would say it delivered here, and it thoroughly delivered on the scare. You know, the one I’m not mentioning.

Fresh stars Daisy Edgar-Jones[1] as a single girl in like Portland maybe?, who is tired of online dating. Evidence: the first scene in which a literal Chad takes her on a crappy date, insults her date garb, then gets pissy when she doesn’t want the date to continue. So it’s just her and her sassy best friend against the world, except that she meets Sebastian Stan at the grocery store, via his best line about cotton candy grapes. And then they start dating, and then they bang, and then they go away for the weekend, and then… well, for one thing, and then, bam, title card! Some 30 or 40 minutes into the movie. Title card, and opening credits. Possibly a bit too clever, but it worked for me.

Anyway, what’s important here is, it turns out that this romantic comedy might have a second, underlying genre, if you know what I mean and I think you must, considering the subject matter of Random Number Generator Horror Podcast #9. So now our characters must untangle their situationship and find out if two crazy kids can find a way to make it in a world which mostly caters to billionaires and married people.

The reason I’m caring so much about spoilers here, anyway, is because I really very much liked the movie, and you should too! It’s pretty solid throughout, except that the ending was just a little bit twee. Still, though, the ride between point B and point C is legit, even if point C was a bit of a letdown.

[1] who you don’t know from the War of the Worlds TV series from 2019, and probably don’t know from anything else, even though her name is maddeningly familiar.

Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man

Been a minute since a new podcast movie. Partly this is because I’ve been out of the house a lot the past few weeks due to various broken things. Partly because even before that I finally got several “I’ve already seen this” in a row podcast episodes that required no film viewing. But also enough time passed since I knew I needed to watch this one that I’ve completely forgotten the categories.

Twenty seconds of research later… this movie’s scare was werewolf, and the style was sequel plus. Which brings us to maybe the very first movie to establish a cinematic universe: Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man. So what happens is, Larry Talbot was killed in his Wolfman movie, and Frankenstein’s monster was killed in his Frankenstein movie, and the execs at Universal Pictures had a real pickle on their hands when they realized that, hey, it’s the 1940s and both Boris Karloff and Lon Chaney are still alive, we have to cash in on this, only, how???

So in phase one (of the plan, not the MCU[1]), some graverobbers open Talbot’s crypt, but it’s a) night time, b) a full moon, and c) they foolishly covered the crypt in wolfsbane, which they justifiably thought would repel werewolves instead of resurrecting them, but oops, now he’s alive again. And still a wolf, and still miserable about being a wolf, so in phase two he goes and finds a gypsy lady from his previous movie who tells him that Baroness Elsa Frankenstein might be able to help him not be immortal via her father’s research into life after death, under the theory that death after life is probably the same wheelhouse I guess.

So off they go, pissing off a bunch of villagers who are not a fan of the dude who owned the castle up the hill, and hey, uh-oh, those burned bones they found must have belonged to someone else, because here’s the Monster frozen in the side of a wall. All that’s left is to have some gratuitous racism[2] against the old gypsy woman, find a mad scientist willing to hook up electrodes to those neck bolts, and also for some reason let’s keep doing this stuff only when the moon is full, no way we could wait an extra week before getting started, is there, and before you know it, the battle of the century is underway.

Chaney’s wolfman is appropriately soulful, never missing a chance to express his misery with either word, expression, or deed. Karloff’s monster would be a cipher cum caricature, until you remember that no, this is what other people were caricaturing in the first place. All in all, it was a whole lot of plot getting in the way of a disappointingly short battle royale, but still worth having seen. I think the only one of these I’ve seen before is the one with Abbott and Costello, and you have to admit they were intellectually bankrupt by that point in the, let’s say, series.

This one, by contrast, worked very hard to be an actual sequel to both movies it was combining, back when nobody even knew that could be done. If nothing else, respect for the ground they broke!

[1] Monster Cinematic Universe. They kinda get dibs on the acronym, to be honest.
[2] The danger of a period piece that was still made almost a hundred years ago is you cannot tell if the people being so casually and pointlessly racist are themselves caricatures that show the then-modern audience how far we’ve come, or if, no, that’s just racist script-writers and directors playing to a racist audience. …but probably it’s the second one.

Spider-Man: Brand New Day

The drive-in will never die. …but some individual instances and even chains do. Although I guess there are not just a ton of drive-in chains in the first place, are there? Anyway, The Coyote Drive-In in Fort Worth (and briefly, in Lewisville, not 5 miles from my house) shut down on Labor Day, and as of today, it no longer exists. Having seen this coming, we snuck the kids out late, and by the time we were rolling into the parking lot, both were sound asleep. And thusly, at 9:30 on a Friday night, we saw Tom Holland’s fourth Spider-Man movie. Yay, the drive-in! Boo, the loss of the drive-in.

When last we saw our hero, literally nobody remembered his existence.[1] Now it’s four, maybe five years later. He continues to stop street-level bad guys in Manhattan and pine over MJ and argue morality with the Punisher. You know, all the things you’d expect now that they have put Frank Castle back into the MCU and given multiple characters years’ worth of backstory that hasn’t made it to the screen.[2] If that sounds snide, it wasn’t meant to. It feels less like a cheap trick, and more like those “I stopped reading comics when I went to college, but you lured me back and man have things changed!” …or (depending on the author) “stayed the same!” missives to the letter column. Nobody has time to read every comic ever published[3], and having this kind of “stuff changed while I was away” thing makes the world feel more lived in.

But then, while stopping a very determined runaway tank, Spidey comes to find that the criminal is a… what? Ghost? Body thief? Mind controller? with unclear motives but who is essentially unstoppable. Therefore, he does what he does, and we have ourselves a movie, one with a Bruce Banner cameo no less. Which brings me back around to that 5 year gap from the previous movie. See, depending on how you math, it’s been at least five years since the Blip, maybe as much as six. And I know I just said I like that lived-in feel, but last couple of times I saw Banner (that I can recall), he was a happy-go-lucky smart Hulk, fully integrated. And I just have to wonder what I missed between them and now.

Anyway, though, I am incapable I think of disliking a Spider-Man movie. Even the third one with Tobey Maguire has aged favorably now that I’ve seen some of the runs on which it was based. So take my recommendation for what it’s worth, but yeah, it’s a good time.

[1] There were arguably good reasons for it.
[2] I’ll get back to this.
[3] Ask me how I know.