Monthly Archives: January 2009

Autopsy

From the frenetic photo-documentary beginning, Autopsy was a movie that knew exactly what it wanted to accomplish, and knew how to do it, too. No screwing around with a long introduction to characters that we all know are mostly going to die soon, or a backstory about how they ended up in a drunken car crash on an abandoned highway. Just some odds and ends of credits, and then bam, plot! Which was about a creepy abandoned hospital in which this one dude is performing experiments to keep his wife alive in some ill-defined and ultimately irrelevant-to-the-story way.

What is relevant is that teens are being separated from each other, experimented on, covered in gore, and otherwise abused for being in the wrong place at the wrong time and thusly falling in with psychopathic medical criminals. And I guess partying at Mardi Gras and consuming alcohol is enough low morality to justify a horoor movie fate. But I could wish for some gratuitous nudity to seal the deal. All that said, I think this was my favorite movie of the Fest so far, because it made no bones about being anything other than what it was: a pure, unadulterated old school horror movie. And yay, that.

The Brøken

Horrorfest III, day 2 opened with The Brøken, starring modern Sarah Connor as the daughter of an American embassy worker in London who wanders the city in a cloud of foreboding and dramatic strings instrumentation. Things happen, for sure. Like, there are doubles climbing out of mirrors to wander around confusing people about one person being in two places at once. And there’s a mysterious car crash where nobody seems interested in the other victim. And most important for our purposes, Lena Headey is pretty sure that her boyfriend has been replaced by a duplicate. Which, considering the mirror-people, is a bit more plausible than anyone around her thinks.

Mostly, though, we have foreboding thoughts, weird flashbacks, dramatic strings, and ominous London backdrops. Let me throw out an example that is representative of what I’m talking about: Lena is going somewhere on the Underground, only she gets scared by an ominous bag lady who is saying foreboding things about the other passengers right before staring at Lena in ominous confusion. So, Lena gets off at the stop, only to discover it’s closed at the surface, the only notice being a handwritten sign at the locked gate. So she wanders around the hallways, easily getting lost despite claims from people I know that the London Underground is easier to navigate than John Doe’s family tree, because that would be the ominous thing to happen. Except for the bag lady perhaps giving a clue about the mirror people, nothing else of plot- or character-advancing status occurs in this entire three-to-four-minute scene. I’d never watch it again, but there’s something very compelling about waiting and waiting and waiting to determine whether there’s a movie buried under all the ominous, strings-laden foreboding.

Dying Breed

I liked this movie better, I think, when it was Turistas, or maybe Wolf Creek. Or maybe even that Anaconda sequel. But, for the record, there are these research people who go to Tasmania to find evidence of the extinct Tasmanian Tiger, which I guess is a real animal? If it wasn’t for all the pesky animal-bonded cannibals as foreshadowed in the opening scene, they probably would have just done a little dance, made a little love, and generally got down tonight, only to leave empty-handed a little bit later. Instead, you know: terror! So, that happened.

Lucifer: The Divine Comedy

While waiting for the third movie to start, ridiculously late last night, I made kind of a cardinal mistake. If I believed for an instant there would be a fourth Horrorfest, despite the missed timing, horrible scheduling of the movies over the course of this weekend and the next week, and the single digit attendance numbers yesterday, I would make a point of being at the beginning or in the middle of a long book during that weekend. Because now I have to take that much extra time to write a thoughtful book review, too? We’re taking eight movies in three days, you know! (Though it remains to be seen if that’s true, with special thanks due once again to the Fest’s carefully planned-for-maximal-uselessness screening schedule.)

But since the book in question is the fourth volume of the Lucifer series, I do have to be thoughtful after all. Dammit. The Divine Comedy takes a lot of elements of the story so far and resolves them. I mean, with a vengeance. There are maybe three things that are different from before the start of the story. They’re major things, but there are only three things! Given such an aggressive trimming schedule, I look forward to what will happen next. I am pretty sure that God still has a problem with Lucifer, and the archangel Michael is about to embark on a pretty impressive story arc. But beyond that, I have almost no guesses.

A thing that interests me about Gaiman’s Sandman world that this is drawn from: no Jesus. I mean, he is referenced in the vernacular on a regular basis, but, strangely for a series as steeped in religion as Sandman is, and much moreso for the Heaven-and-Hell-centric Lucifer series, Jesus does not show up as a character in any way. I have to imagine it’s really related to DC comics being worried about horrible press, but I’d like to catch wind of an in-story explanation. His absence is downright conspicuous.

Butterfly Effect: Revelation

Sometime before I started reviewing things, I saw a cool sci-fi movie in which Ashton Kutcher can relive his past, modify events to make things better, and then wake up out of his memories to find a world of improvements, right? Except, there’s always some kind of unintended consequence that makes things worse, and he just missed the intervening years, so he has to figure out what went wrong, and then go back and fix it better, which will work this time, right? And yeah, it’s pretty cool. You should see it.

I missed the sequel, but Butterfly Effect 3 was my second movie of the festival, and, well… if I wanted to have some minimal grasp of the underpinnings of the world, it’s a good thing I saw the first one. Plus, it’s not really much like they followed exactly those same rules anyway, but at least I knew in advance there’s a dude who came jump back in time and then wander around changing things if he feels like it, despite knowing that it’s usually a bad idea. Only, his murdered high-school girlfriend’s sister comes to him requesting assistance in discovering her murderer. And that can’t hurt anything, right? He certainly won’t accidentally create a serial killer for whom he is usually the police’s prime suspect! …right?

If you can ignore the physics-underpinnings part and just accept that he can go to whenever he wants, etc., the plot is a pretty nice mystery that I figure took me over half the film to work out. Watch for Rachel Miner as a threepeat Horrorfest actress. Good for her!

From Within

Remember back in November, when I didn’t go to the third Horrorfest and then review a massive pile of movies, and it was very concerning and you were kind of sad to miss out on an entire new batch of movies you will never, ever see yourself, but you at least kind of want to know what it would be like for someone who likes the idea of that kind of thing. Well, there’s good news! As part of an apparent line of mistakes made by the people in charge, whoever they are, it didn’t happen until this weekend instead. So, here we are.

The first flick, From Within, is a real improvement over last year’s mediocre opening. There’s this small generic town that’s dominated by a mega-church, which, come to think of it, is maybe implausible? And one day, a goth-looking guy reads some Latin out of a book, which everyone knows means shit is about to go down. Except, instead of doing anything cool and magical, he kills himself. And then, his girlfriend dies under apparently suicidal but certainly mysterious circumstances. The rest of the movie follows around a girl present at the first girl’s death who is trying to figure out what happened, the dead goth’s brooding brother with a dark past and a pretty plum role as a recognizable teen on the Sarah Connor Chronicles, and the holy war that is about to hit Grovetown. Mostly, though, the brooding! I’m pretty sure this was a fraction of what seeing Twilight would have been like, only without the irritating audience and with enough entertaining violence to balance the tweeness.

Best part, though, is the brooding dude’s cousin, who is sufficiently full of snark that she plays piano chords of doom when we learn about the horrible thing that is about to happen to our plucky heroine. I may be in love.

Gran Torino

Except for the fact that I’m willing to see it again, this might get me in trouble with my father. But after several intriguing previews in front of all the art house flicks I’ve been seeing in the past couple of months, I went to see Clint Eastwood’s new movie, Gran Torino. And it’s good! Eastwood still sees himself as incredibly bad-ass, which seems ridiculous for a 79 year-old man. Yet, either through weight of history, gravelliness of voice, or sheer force of will, he can still pull it off. Hell, the gravelly moans were as much an extra character in every scene as the titular vehicle was.

So Eastwood lives in his house in Detroit, in the neighborhood he hasn’t left since the Korean War ended, and he has gradually watched his friends move away or die and be replaced by a bunch of Asians that basically all look alike to him. His family is useless and his wife has just died, which leaves him a bitter racist, alone with nothing but time on his hands and his sweet, sexy sports car that he never drives. Oh, and his dog who is old like him, but I’m sure nothing bad will happen to, right? Right?

The downside to all this, if you leave out his existential twilight, non-stop racist anger, and the Catholic priest who won’t stop hanging on the bell day and night, is that there’s a Ricer gang terrorizing the neighbors (well, really the neighborhood in general, but he probably wouldn’t know if it weren’t happening in his front yard), and once he’s scared them off, he becomes the last thing he wants to be: a hero. After that, things start to get complicated.

There are moments of cringe-inducing uncomfortableness, genuine warmth, understated hilarity, and raw-edged fury. But as much good acting and scripting as was crammed into the film, I think what I like best about it is that it isn’t a story of redemption where the crusty old racist learns a valuable lesson and loves everyone. It might be cool if it happened in real life, but the truth is, that kind of thing mostly doesn’t, and I’ve seen it often enough on screen that it was refreshing to see something different. I think Eastwood-the-director only took the easy way out of a scene once in the entire film, and more power to him for it. I like movies that aren’t perfectly easy to watch or perfectly easy to pin down and categorize.

Ultimate X-Men: New Mutants

I’m not sure what, if indeed anything, it indicates, but I find that the Ultimate X-Men volumes are the ones that make me remember that I really need to find a way to continue my thoroughly stalled read of of the original Marvel runs. Are the Ultimate X-Men the least divergent from their 1960s counterparts? If so, I don’t consider that a bad thing; the X-Men are still what I want most to read, supplanted only by Spider-Man after something like thirty years’ of combined comics reading from that era.

And in relatedly good news, New Mutants continues the UXM trend of ever-increasing quality. Despite the addition of several familiar faces from the original X-Men, the story returns to basics: mutant-human relations, the people trying to improve them, and the people trying to destroy them, complete with politicking and knock-down, drag-out fights. It really is a great gimmick. Mutation contains themes of racism, teenaged outsider feelings, and the religion/science dichotomy in one neat package. Plus, one shocking event may change everything I take for granted in the Ultimate universe!

But the best part of the book was a short one-off issue between a newly discovered mutant and Wolverine, in which we discover the length, breadth, and depth of Professor Charles Xavier’s commitment to permanent peace between homo superior and homo sapiens. I am pretty pleased by this revelation and what it says about the series.

Ultimate Elektra: Devil’s Due

It has not been difficult for me to find graphic novels from the Ultimate Marvel series in my various used bookstores. I don’t have all of them by any means, but I’ve been able to pick up a lot just by keeping my eyes open. And then there’s the ambitiously numbered volume one of the Ultimate Elektra series, which seemed to have five or more copies available at every store I entered over the course of 2008. Which, despite the underlying snarkiness of that fact, is not to say that it was a bad book.

I imagine that if you knew nothing about the characters, even had not seen the Daredevil movie[1], then Devil’s Due might have told a pretty good story. See, there’s this ninja chick named Elektra, and she wants to protect her father from various lowlife thugs who are trying to destroy his business and / or manipulate him as part of a money-laundering scheme, presumedly because he owns a dry-cleanery. There’s also a blind lawyer who will probably be the Ultimate Daredevil someday, only he’s shown up in other Ultimate entries as himself instead of a shoddily-costumed law student; am I to assume this occurs before the rest of the Ultimate universe timeline? But I digress.

Anyhow, Daredevil, being the law and order type, wants Elektra to stop being such a deadly vigilante, she wants him to get off her back and stop being such a drag, and Manhattan crime boss Wilson Fisk, AKA the Kingpin, wants the lot of them to stop doing things that might result in his prosecution. The story has potential for nuanced shades of grey and moral quandaries; I think the biggest failure of the book lay in the knowledge that no character was ever going to budge from their initial position, which removed any hope of moral drama.

On a more nitpicky note, if Matt Murdock is going to dress all in dark clothes with a bandanna mask over his eyes, can they stop showing him in the red Daredevil uniform on the covers?

[1] You are incredibly lucky, by the way, for this one.

Just after Sunset

For the first time in a while, a Stephen King release slipped by me. (Although typing that feels familiar, and it could be that a delve into the archives would prove me wrong. We’ll pretend this is not my problem and proceed, nevertheless.) But I noticed it just a couple of weeks later and easily found a copy at Half Price Books next time I was in, because he’s one of those authors that is big enough to fill the inexplicable niche of people who pay hardback prices, only to resell the book at a pittance the moment they’ve finished reading. Contrariwise, while I may love books[3] at only a slightly above-average amount for my circle of friends, I’m pretty sure that in the general population, I’d be the inexplicable one, so there you go.

Just after Sunset is a short story collection, which makes me feel a bit better about having run late on it; after all, I’ve read a couple of these already in Playboy, months or years beforehand. Which maybe balances out the month or so I ran behind on the rest of the stories? And they’re, you know, Stephen King. None were bad, and a few were hovering right in that range that I’d call brilliant. He can scare you, sure, but his best talent has always been the way he can shine a spotlight on the human soul. The fear, the anger, the grime, the longing, the love, just all of it. And I think some of that is effortless, but I have to think that some of it is carefully honed craft. I can say this because some of my favorite of his stories over the past decade (including, in this book, N.) are natural[1] successors to H.P. Lovecraft’s terror over the worlds that lie just to the left of ours and yet are unbearably alien and unthinkingly malevolent. And he rarely wrote in that style before, which makes me imagine that one day there was a conscious effort to start. And now, lots of success at it!

Plus, he wrote a story that perfectly captured the spirit of my sporadically recurrent nuclear explosion nightmares. I’m glad[2] I’m not the only one that still gets hit by that, every so often.

[1] And more importantly, modernized! I mean, the language more than the topic-space. ‘Cause… yeah.
[2] “Glad” is probably not the right word. Relieved is closer, but a little too far the other direction.
[3] Not specifically reading, although that too!