Tag Archives: chopsocky

Siu lam juk kau

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After a long, long time, I’ve started watching Netflix stuff again. Which is nice, because it means I get to spend my money a little better and also because I might get to see the final season of Alias sometime this year and also also because every so often I get some random movie or other into the queue, something I missed theatrically and then nearly forgot about and would never have heard from again, but for those fine people. (The ones at Netflix, you see.)

In this case, I get to be the last person in America to see Shaolin Soccer, despite that I had heard about it in 2001 when you could only get it via illegal download. Sure, it’s a ridiculous movie that you’ve seen a million times before. An underdog coach gets a chance to redeem himself by defeating his longtime rival, but only if he can whip his scrappy players into shape in time for the big game! (Or maybe the lead player is the one who’s redeeming himself against the longtime rival. Either way.) So yeah, of course you’ve seen it.

But, have you seen it with tai chi sticky buns? Or with a cunning plan to repopularize kung fu via lounge singing? Or with a nemesis who looks suspiciously like Takeshi Kaga? I am willing to bet that you have not, outside of this movie, which admittedly you have almost certainly seen. Perhaps it’s worth another look, though? ‘Cause, let’s be clear here, there’s something really cool about a movie that not only uses the over-the-top magic-laden version of kung fu to play a game of soccer, but does so in the same script that pauses long enough to make fun of wirework in Chinese cinema.

TMNT

The problem with not reviewing things right after you finish consuming them is that you run the risk of acquiring a debilitating sports injury and having a hard time remembering what you might have wanted to say through the haze of pain, tiredness, and general malaise that accompanies such events. But, y’know, through such tribulations I forge ahead.

So, it was like this. On Sunday, I went to see the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie with a few of the guys and mostly the kids. It was a kid friendly movie, of course, in that there were lots of kid-laughs that tended to make me roll my eyes, but it definitely had a little bit of depth shining through the stylized art and sporadic comic relief. A couple of paralleled but different takes on the meaning of family and teamwork, thoughts on vigilantism, good hint-dropping for a sequel, plus all kinds of mutant ninjas vs. regular ninjas vs. regular mutants three-way combat action. If that’s not enough to convince you but you’re still fan in general, I should point out that this is clearly Raphael’s movie. Since he’s the best one, that should persuade any remaining foot-draggers.

Transporter 2

There is a formula in Hollywood. One of many, of course, but this one goes as follows: Car chases + chopsocky = $$$. Car chases always include a) cars that explode, b) cars that drive up ramps on two side wheels to flip them upside down in mid-air, and c) cars that drive off the edge of a conveniently partial bridge. Chopsocky always includes a) people that punch each other, b) people that kick each other, and c) people that jump around a lot, avoiding certain death.

That’s right, Friday was double feature day at the local mallplex, and the next thing I saw was Transporter 2. Frank the ex- special forces guy plays the role of Neo if he knew how to drive, dodging as many bullets as a National Guardsman sitting out of the Vietnam War while beating up Generic Enemy 1 through 57 with as much of the scenery as Jackie Chan.

The plot, to be perfectly frank, is irrelevant. It involves the driving and the chopsocky, not to mention a soulless female assassin who spends the majority of her screen time in wet, transparent lingerie. Even the French guy was worthwhile. I’m not saying movie of the year, here, but it is the year with Serenity in it, so that explains why.