The Walking Dead: What Comes After

WalkingDead_Vol18_WhatComesAfterIt seems like the last several Walking Dead collections have left me feeling reluctant to continue with the series, yet I keep finding new reasons to go on. And there’s probably a lot of truth to that, though I still stand by my most recent prediction that extending beyond today’s storyline will be a huge mistake. Luckily, that has not happened yet, and so I can document my positive reactions and not feel like a chump.

So, you are undoubtedly asking yourself, What Comes After? Besides a painfully generic title, I mean. I guess my answer is, a cult of personality? Also, a renewal of my certainty that Carl Grimes is the toughest customer this side of The Internet’s Chuck Norris. But yeah, what I mean is, Negan is downright fascinating, for all that he’s a terrifying psychotic killer. Far more entertaining than the Governor ever was, and as long as he stays that way and nothing else really boring comes along, I’ll be fine seeing this storyline extend onward a ways. Could wrap up in one book? Could extend for two and not feel like it was being milked, if done properly. But after that? Yeah, I dunno.

But it does seem like 20 is a nice round number, you know?

The Boys: Herogasm

the_boys5In its way, Herogasm is pretty clever. See, it starts off with the concept that big superhero crossover events are all faked, and while the various teams are off “fighting off the alien menace” (or whatever it is this year), they’ve really taken a week or two off at an orgy resort, to recharge their batteries. And since the biggest conceit of the Boys series is how superheroes are basically all horrible people who make the world a consistently worse place, I can appreciate what Ennis is doing here.

Of course, then he and his artist take this premise as a challenge to draw and write the filthiest scenes they can come up with, and they keep throwing it at you nonstop, and at some point even my prurience threshold was overcome. I like to hope this was the point, but I imagine I’m fooling myself there.

But then (and here’s the clever bit), suddenly there’s all kinds of deep politics, both in the present-day and flashback portions of the story, bubbling up around the non-stop porn, and before you know it really big events have occurred and you were still trying to figure out if you were tired of the nipple parade and you almost missed it. I’m definitely not saying that Ennis was trying to slide some mocking social commentary over on his readers here; like I said, I’m not even sure he was trying to make the point that I should have been getting tired of it in the first place. But I am saying that it was an artful job of playing to his strengths.

Ultimate Iron Man: Demon in the Armor

518iRfWjZWL._SY346_The perplexing thing about Ultimate Iron Man is how really well he’s written in the Ultimates (and in any guest role he performs in other comics, usually Spider-Man), yet how mediocrely he’s written on any of the few occasions he gets his own title.[1] Continuing this trend (and the trend of really generic collection names) is Ultimate Comics Iron Man, in which Tony learns that a Chinese conglomerate calling itself the Mandarin is in the midst of a decidedly hostile takeover of Stark International.

It’s by no means a bad story, and in fact the “romantic” subplot is basically great. But it’s telling that I had to grasp for the preceding sentence, instead of working to try to hold back discussion fodder in case of spoilers. Oh, okay, I should also add that the Demon in a Bottle callback in the run’s unmentioned title is probably quite clever, a nice parallel but with 2013’s Tony being addicted to heroism instead of liquor, but since I haven’t actually read Demon in a Bottle yet, this seems like the kind of parallel I’m not qualified to confirm.

But man, mostly I’m just grateful to Robert Downey Jr. for showing me that at least someone can do Tony Stark right.

[1] Armor Wars was an exception, though not a bright shining one.

The Map of the Sky

9102OsNohAL._SL1500_You know that book The Map of Time that is so intimately tied up in my Kindle ownership? It turns out that it was the first book of a trilogy of standalone books. Who knew? The important thing to focus on here, besides that I also definitely liked The Map of the Sky, is that word “standalone”. Because while this book makes more sense if you’ve read the first one, that is not necessary and there is definitely not a cliffhanger at the end, or even any more hint of a third volume than the first one implied that this book was coming. So if you’re worried about reading it? Don’t, it will be fine.

Okay, now that that’s out of the way: You know how the first book in the Victorian trilogy riffed on the Time Machine? This one riffs on the War of the Worlds, albeit a lot more straightforwardly than that other time. And really, I think that should be all you need to know? Yes, it’s in the same tone and voice as the first book, like you’d expect, and since that worked for me just fine then, I’m happy with it here as well. And what it somewhat lacked in byzantine twists, it made up in my deepened emotional attachment to the characters (and their deepened emotional attachments, for good or ill, to each other).

Also, one part of the book, set in the 1830s instead of 1898, is possibly based on a Poe novel instead of War of the Worlds? I am saddened to be unfamiliar with it, if so, and especially saddened that I did not get to choose him as my American Literature senior focus, back when I was getting my lit degree. I tried, but one can only wait so many semesters before you just have to agree to get on with graduating instead. In any event, it reminded me a great deal more of a completely different narrative which I shan’t mention here, to avoid spoilers.

The Conjuring

A large percentage of the modern horrorscape is devoted to possessions, hauntings, and the intersection between the two. So it makes perfect sense that people would comb through the documented cases of such things and put together a movie around that. After all, nothing adds verisimilitude to a project like slapping “based on a true story” to the tagline.

Thusly, The Conjuring, in which actual people named Lorraine and Ed Warren set out to assist an actual Rhode Island family which consists of two adult Perrons and their five daughters, who mostly like to play Hide&Clap and get haunted by restless demons who are hidden implausibly poorly in a boarded up basement. Which doesn’t sound so implausible, I know, except that the house’s furnace is in the basement, and the first time it got cold (demonic or regular), someone was going to go looking for that, you know?

The thing about a true story is, you’re constrained by it. If you’re trying to be anything like faithful to the narrative at all, you will have sudden stops and starts that don’t really fit the expectations of story progression, and no particular themes, just a series of disconnected events and an unreasonably creepy doll. The upshot of which is, this is a perfectly serviceable scary story about which I have basically nothing relevant to say.

The Wolverine (2013)

MV5BNzg1MDQxMTQ2OF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMTk3MjAzOQ@@._V1_The Wolverine is the first new sequel to the X-Men trilogy in seven years. That’s kind of a long time, right? I’m not going to get into a “worth the wait” discussion, since those never end well and speak to expectations, which I try not to set in the first place. But certainly it was good.

First, a recap of relevant information: Wolverine is a pretty old mutant whose DNA has an impressive healing factor, such that he can recover from nearly any wound you can imagine and he doesn’t really age. Over the past hundred, maybe hundred and fifty years, he’s seen a lot of the world. Also, he has claws that grow out of his hand. Also also, his entire skeletal structure has been coated in adamantium, the hardest substance known to comic-book man. (This was made possible by his healing factor, you see. If you pause a moment to consider what having molten metal forged around your bones would feel like, not to mention the logistics of it, you will see why this would suck more for anyone else than the prodigious amount of sucking it did for him.)

So, okay, that should have you nice and caught up. This movie? Is about a haunted Wolverine, filled with regrets over the outcome of the last X-Men movie. Then, he gets caught up in some Japanese family politics. Since this is a comic book movie, I don’t think it’s a spoiler to promise you some hot mutant-on-ninja action, and also there’s a samurai with a distinctly silvery cast to his features, if you know what I mean and I bet you probably don’t, honestly.

The most important plot issue in a mostly character-driven movie (despite all that ninja action) is in the scene after the credits, when we are promised one hell of a spectacle of a new fully X-Men sequel. So, y’know, yes please.

The Unwritten: Dead Man’s Knock

51NFb36LVHLI am surprised and not a little annoyed to report that I completely failed to write a review. (Well, technically two, but one of them is on purpose[1].) I can’t even figure out how it happened. I know I read the third book in the Unwritten series, and I know I thought I had reviewed it, but when I went looking down the recent list, it’s definitely not there. So, um, oops? I’ll do my best, some week-and-change later.

My best ain’t gonna be a lot, unfortunately. I cannot even put together what the title, Dead Man’s Knock, is meant to indicate. (I mean, maybe I still wouldn’t have known if I were fresh?) I do know that this one was a little lighter on the deep literary thoughts and a little heavier on kicking Tommy Taylor’s story, not to mention the war being waged against him by the weird cognoscenti cabal that views him as such an unexplained threat, into high gear. Which is okay. I like the concepts swirling around, but without some excitement and menace, Carey’s latest opus would probably feel self-involved.

Also, there was an entire issue laid out as Choose Your Own Adventure, and you cannot tell me that’s not really awesome. You could try, but you would not succeed.

[1] Don’t worry, I’ll get there.

The Boys: We Gotta Go Now

618Jw8k7spLIf it looks like I’m reading slowly, it’s because I’ve been hyper-focused on old Marvel stuff, both the ongoing acquisition and consumption thereof. But I finally read the fourth volume in Garth Ennis’ The Boys series, so that’s nice at least. It occurs to me that this is an incredibly aptly named team, insofar as its one female member (cleverly named “The Female”) never speaks and has yet to actually do anything that was her own event on the side, unlike all the other team members. I pretend to myself, each new book, that we’ll suddenly learn something about her. Maybe a name of some kind. (I will say that she’s not also sexualized, so that’s… something?)

But anyway, though, the ongoing war between Butcher and his team versus the supes continues on, this time extending to Ennis’ X-Men parody, with its vast number of teams and splinter groups. Which made a fine, albeit occasionally horrific, story. But I’m really ready for the meat of this series. Our main character, Hughie, who I probably mentioned is based on actor Simon Pegg? He and his girlfriend have been carefully concealing themselves from each other this whole time, and it’s a ticking time bomb, and I really want to see what happens when the truth gets revealed. Downside: probably that will start the roller-coaster ride toward a series climax, and Ennis probably isn’t done poking fun at superhero comic tropes and standards just yet.

So, okay, but at least give me some character development on the Female and the Frenchman. ‘Cause seriously, especially that Female thing I mentioned back at the start? It looks bad. (It probably is bad instead of just appearing that way, and probably having the whole plot laid out in front of me would not change that, but since it isn’t yet, it feels premature to judge. He tricked me on the homophobia. Sort of.)

World War Z

First of all: while it’s possible that this WWZmovie borrowed some small amount of plotting from the book that shares its name, I would be hard pressed to name anything besides the title and its attendant premise. This does not make it a bad film, but it certainly makes it a misnamed one. Second of all: I’m probably fast and loose with spoilers here, although none plot-destroying. You’ll see why I didn’t care much about that.

Okay, disclaimers aside, was World War Z in fact a good movie? Almost. It started off pretty solidly by introducing Brad Pitt (who had gotten too old for this shit) and his family, and then immediately dumping them into Run For Your Lives! And then it exposited about how he’s the kind of guy who could help find out how this[1] happened and therefore save humanity, and then blackmailed him into doing it when “saving humanity” was somehow insufficient. Like rich, pretty people don’t know that they are part of what’s being saved? I dunno.

Then he starts globetrotting, picking up clues, narrowly escaping each place he goes to like a non-parodic version of John Cusack, and just when I started to get the impression that his arrival spelt doom for any place he might show up at, the movie kind of trickled out into nothing. I seriously expected another 30 to 60 minutes of plot, until about 5 minutes before the credits rolled.

So, shorter version: cool, albeit stolen and warped, concept; cool execution; terrible payoff. Hot Israeli soldiers, though.

[1] The zombie apocalypse, obvs.

This Is the End

There were three things I liked a lot about This Is the End. First: Los Angeles gets destroyed. I mean, that’s always fun, right? Second: a lot of actors demonstrated a really solid sense of humor about themselves. Sometimes you get one or two, but this was pretty much a whole cast’s worth. (Special kudos to Michael Cera.) Third: I found it to be damned funny[1]

See, some guy I don’t know who is clearly a stand-in for longtime Seth Rogen writing collaborator Evan Goldberg has come into town to visit Seth, even though they both know how much he hates LA. Seth, see, hopes to make some inroads between notEvan and Seth’s actor friends. So they go to a party at James Franco’s house, where everyone acts exactly as annoyingly Hollywood as notEvan expected them to, and even Seth is slightly less likable / more dog-piddly than usual due to their influence. Then, out of nowhere, *boom*, it’s the Rapture Apocalypse. Suddenly, everyone is having to deal with unceasing waves of death and destruction, limited resources, demonic possession, the worst human being in the world[2], and coming to terms with the fact that, yep, they’re in this situation because they probably deserve it[4], all from the comforts of Franco’s post-modern mansion.

Also starring Emma Watson!

[1] Koz, as you will see in paragraph two, it’s generally about bad people, so you will probably not find it funny. I think most other people I know would, though?
[2] Spoilers, but if you insist:[3]
[3] Danny McBride
[4] I know, that’s not really how the Rapture is supposed to work, but somehow, getting an atheistic, uninformed view of the Rapture is very in keeping with the spirit of the thing. on every level. (Also, an accurate[5] representation starring Kirk Cameron would have been terrible in every way.)
[5] Yeah, I had fun with that word choice, not gonna lie.