{"id":100,"date":"2005-09-10T21:37:00","date_gmt":"2005-09-11T04:37:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/replicatedmeat.nocturne.org\/wordpress\/?p=100"},"modified":"2022-02-21T15:44:00","modified_gmt":"2022-02-21T21:44:00","slug":"transporter-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/?p=100","title":{"rendered":"Transporter 2"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"There is a formula in Hollywood. One of many, of course, but this one goes as follows: Car chases + chopsocky = $$$. Car chases always include a) cars that explode, b) cars that drive up ramps on two side wheels to flip them upside down in mid-air, and c) cars that drive off the edge of a conveniently partial bridge. Chopsocky always includes a) people that punch each other, b) people that kick each other, and c) people that jump around a lot, avoiding certain death.<\/p>\n

That’s right, Friday was double feature day at the local mallplex, and the next thing I saw was Transporter 2<\/a>. Frank the ex- special forces guy plays the role of Neo if he knew how to drive, dodging as many bullets as a National Guardsman sitting out of the Vietnam War while beating up Generic Enemy 1 through 57 with as much of the scenery as Jackie Chan.<\/p>\n

The plot, to be perfectly frank, is irrelevant. It involves the driving and the chopsocky, not to mention a soulless female assassin who spends the majority of her screen time in wet, transparent lingerie. Even the French guy was worthwhile. I’m not saying movie of the year, here, but it is<\/em> the year with Serenity<\/a> in it, so that explains why.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There is a formula in Hollywood. One of many, of course, but this one goes as follows: Car chases + chopsocky = $$$. Car chases always include a) cars that explode, b) cars that drive up ramps on two side wheels to flip them upside down in mid-air, and c) cars that drive off the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[464,1055,1056,1057,1058,1059,58,1060,1061,613,1062,1063],"class_list":["post-100","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-film","tag-action","tag-car-chases","tag-car-flips","tag-cars-that-explode","tag-cars-which-fall-long-distances","tag-chopsocky","tag-explosions","tag-irrelevant-plot","tag-soulless-female-assassins","tag-summer-flick","tag-the-ex-special-forces-guy","tag-the-local-mallplex"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/100","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=100"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/100\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8198,"href":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/100\/revisions\/8198"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=100"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=100"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=100"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}