{"id":1325,"date":"2009-11-29T23:59:16","date_gmt":"2009-11-30T05:59:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.delirium.org\/?p=1325"},"modified":"2009-12-28T23:59:52","modified_gmt":"2009-12-29T05:59:52","slug":"ninja-assassin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/?p=1325","title":{"rendered":"Ninja Assassin"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Here are the things I learned while watching\u00a0<a title=\"Fear not the weapon, but the hand that wields it\" href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt1186367\/\" target=\"_blank\">Ninja Assassin<\/a>[1]:<\/p>\n<p>1) Human bodies are basically overpressurized bags of blood that will explode at the slightest provocation.<br \/>\n2) Europe has a severe ninja infestation.<br \/>\n3) Ninjas are like cockroaches: for every one you see, there are at least a dozen you don\u2019t.<br \/>\n4) Ninjas are like cockroaches: they really hate it when you shine lights on them.<br \/>\n5) Ninjas will kill anyone, as long as you pay them with one hundred pounds of gold.<br \/>\n6) Ninja stars[3] are every bit as cool as you thought they were when you were eight.<\/p>\n<p>[1] There really was way too much plot getting in the way of my chopsocky, at least for the first third of the movie. But, okay, a ninja with a troubled past[2] and a precocious (let\u2019s say) Interpol analyst team up against ninja hit squads and the police, on a quest for bloody revenge.<br \/>\n[2] I mean, more troubled than\u00a0<em>that<\/em>; like, take ninja as the troubled baseline, and then adjust from there.<br \/>\n[3] No, not shuriken. These were definitely ninja stars.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Here are the things I learned while watching\u00a0Ninja Assassin[1]: 1) Human bodies are basically overpressurized bags of blood that will explode at the slightest provocation. 2) Europe has a severe ninja infestation. 3) Ninjas are like cockroaches: for every one you see, there are at least a dozen you don\u2019t. 4) Ninjas are like cockroaches: [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[464],"class_list":["post-1325","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-film","tag-action"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1325","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1325"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1325\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1325"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1325"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1325"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}