{"id":2308,"date":"2010-08-22T23:09:08","date_gmt":"2010-08-23T05:09:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.delirium.org\/?p=2308"},"modified":"2015-08-24T19:03:27","modified_gmt":"2015-08-25T01:03:27","slug":"piranha-3d","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/?p=2308","title":{"rendered":"Piranha 3D"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"MV5BMTU3NDg2NTY4Nl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMTM0OTE3Mw@@._V1__SX1859_SY847_\"<\/a>I hadn’t really thought about it until now, but it has\u00a0been too long since anyone released a good monster movie.[1] Which is not to say Piranha 3D<\/a> is itself good, because that word doesn’t really apply in a traditional way to this\u00a0particular\u00a0subgenre in nearly the same way that Joe Bob Briggs’ drive-in totals do. Honestly, the title tells you everything you need to know about the plot, which is that a school of hungry piranha are about to crash a co-ed beach party to blood-spattering result. I will say that as a prior resident of San Marcos, Texas, where the original Piranha was filmed, I appreciated the scene in which naked nymphs are filmed making out underwater through a glass-bottomed yacht, as this was clearly a shout-out to the sadly defunct Aquarena Springs<\/a> mermaids.<\/p>\n

As for those drive-in totals[2], there were 11 breasts, 15 bodies, and one full-blown spring break massacre. Multiple propellers to the face. Frying pan to the piscine face. Head rolls. Torso rolls. Legs roll. Penis rolls. Drive-in academy award nominations to Jessica Szohr for vomiting in 3D, to Jerry O’Connell as the sleazy video promoter, to Christopher Lloyd for saying, “They don’t have fully-developed genitalia!” with exactly the delivery you’re imagining, and to Richard Dreyfuss just for showing up. Three and a half stars, and if you do in fact want to check it out, hell, I’d go again.<\/p>\n

[1] I mean, besides<\/em> Sci-Fi<\/del> SyFy original motion pictures, weekly on Saturday nights.
\n[2] …that a quick web search [to see if I could compare them with the original count, which likely does not exist due to the movie’s 1978 release date being too early] tells me every reviewer on the planet is referencing this weekend.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I hadn’t really thought about it until now, but it has\u00a0been too long since anyone released a good monster movie.[1] Which is not to say Piranha 3D is itself good, because that word doesn’t really apply in a traditional way to this\u00a0particular\u00a0subgenre in nearly the same way that Joe Bob Briggs’ drive-in totals do. Honestly, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[169,30],"class_list":["post-2308","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-film","tag-3d","tag-horror"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2308","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2308"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2308\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5265,"href":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2308\/revisions\/5265"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2308"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2308"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/delirium.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2308"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}