Tag Archives: fantasy

Moana (2026)

One thing I heard about the live action Moana remake is that it would have a new Lin Manuel Miranda song. And I was interested to see how they incorporated a new song into the existing plot. It turns out, they did not. Instead, it is over the credits.

I want to be clear that I like Moana. It’s pretty great all the way around, and not a pain to rewatch. (Which is good, since I have small children and a Disney+ subscription.) But the placement of the new song tells you everything you really need to know about the remake, which is that it is unnecessary. There is nothing wrong with unnecessary things. I got to sit in a darkened room watching flickering lights on a screen with my kid[1][2], and I got to eat popcorn. That’s pretty great.

But yeah, there’s no question that The Rock in a flowing wig or not, this is an unnecessary movie.

[1] “But you have two kids. And a wife!” Yes, and they were multiple seats away, having their own shared experience. I was on an end, and I got what I got.
[2] I understand that “going to the movies” has become unpopular. I don’t think I’ll ever lose the urge or the wonder, though.

Wish (2023)

Last time the kids picked Wish as the family night movie, I was tired and fell asleep for most of it, or maybe I was working? Whatever happened, I missed the majority of the movie. But this time when they picked it, I had nothing else going on. So now I’ve seen a somewhat recent Disney movie. Unlike Friday, when I will probably see an extremely current[1] Disney movie. (Don’t tell the kids, they don’t know yet. They may not even know I took the day off work.)

Anyway, none of that is about sorcery and making wishes and if I’m being honest, pretty mediocre songs for the most part. See, this is the problem with Disney in a nutshell. In the dawn of time when most of Hollywood had extraneous musical interludes anyway, it could be forgiven. And then when it had become habit, well, I guess. But then for a while in the ’90s with Mencken and Rice, the songs were legit good. Then I’m not sure what happened, I was away for a while. I hear Phil Collins was involved? Anyway, then in the ’10s, about half the songs in Frozen were bangers, and right after that they found Lin-Manuel Miranda. So expectations are at an all time high!

And, as I’ve said, extremely not met.

Anyway, there’s this sorcerer, right? And he figures out how to extract a person’s fondest, most heartfelt wish. He uses this knowledge to set up an island commune where people come because their wishes are unattainable, and so they come and give him their wish, and he keeps it safe, whatever that means. But also, once a month, he grants one of the wishes. That’s the setting. The plot is that the main character girl has a job interview to be his apprentice, and what she learns during the interview makes her unhappy[2], so she sings a (decent) song about wishing that the way wishes worked was better than the way they actually work here. At the end of which, she has found perhaps a better way.

Then, most of the rest of the songs are pretty terrible, excepting only the main bad guy[3] song about being underappreciated, but also the plot is a little overstretched? But then when they got to the climax, that song is pretty solid and brings most of the rest of the movie back on track. It turns out the movie was about how you should follow your dreams even if they are difficult, instead of handing them over to someone else and just hoping something randomly works out for you, and ps it probably won’t. At least if it didn’t work out for you on your own effort, you still burned with its fire your whole life instead of being an empty shell.

And that’s a pretty good message for a kid movie, really. Not even a terrible message for an adult movie, all things considered. But I’d still rather just watch Encanto[4] for the 18th time.

[1] Heh. “Current”
[2] Spoilers: she learns (or maybe we learn this during the infodump scene, it would make more sense that way I guess) that when you give up your fondest wish, you also forget it, it’s just gone out of you entirely. And then, bigger spoilers, she learns that the sorcerer picks and chooses which wishes gets granted, and never grants the ones that are potentially dangerous to the island, by which he means dangerous to his control over the island. Like how an old man’s wish to be inspirational to the next generation is too vague, and might result in some kind of revolutionary uprising. (Specific boring wishes, like wanting to be the best hairdresser, those are okay.)
[3] Awesomely, his name is Magnifico
[4] I sort of understand why I don’t have a review of Frozen. No review for Encanto is simply inexcusable, though. Whoops.

The Fall of the Readers

I have read a four book series to my (at the time[1]) five year old son. I’m not saying he saw every plot twist coming[2], but he is absolutely capable of focusing on the story and retaining information between books. I’ve been considering The Hobbit, although Mary says he’s too young for chapter five.

Anyway, The Fall of the Readers marks the end of Alice’s journey from orphaned apprentice to… well, to whatever she is destined to be, right? Can’t very well give away the farm right at the end, can I? But the point is, she has done three or four impossible things before breakfast, and it’s time to take the fight to the Readers[3] themselves. This will probably involve puzzles and mazes and friendship, like usual, you know?  And also like sacrifice, if the last couple of books are any measure.

And that’s only part one…

I declare myself satisfied with this series. It did not end the way I expected, it had a major reveal that I also did not expect, and it was worlds more my speed than a lot of the books that I read to him. I mean, I also wanted to know how things turned out! …as opposed to already knowing is most of what I mean, but also as opposed to not really caring.

[1] (As of today, he is six, you see)
[2] To be fair, I’m not saying I did, either
[3] If you know, you know. If you don’t know, well, it’s right there in the title. You can’t exactly pretend to surprise.

The Mandalorian and Grogu

My father is somehow turning 80 in a few days, and he wanted to see Martin Scorsese’s latest movie on opening weekend, which solved my problem of having no idea how I’d manage such a feat. I mean, not even “on opening weekend”, just at all during the theatrical run. So we headed from his place to Weatherford, well known cinema mecca of the DFW metropolitan area, and saw The Mandalorian and Grogu.

If you have not been sleeping under a rock since before Covid, you’ll be aware of the biggest Star Wars TV show, starring Pedro Pascal and Baby Yoda as a Mandalorian bounty hunter and a 50 year old Jedi youngling on the run from the Empire, among other varied adventures, in the years after the fall of the Emperor. This movie is that, but as a movie. Since I like the show, I will not say I wish I was joking, but… yeah, seriously, this felt like 4 episodes of a TV show rejiggered to be a movie instead. And I honestly hope it worked for them, because Star Wars should be movies, in virtually all[1] cases.

I cannot imagine really anyone in the world who would be swayed on whether to see this based on plot specifics, but in case you care: The Mandalorian and his bounty hunting apprentice are hunting bounties for the New Republic, and the most elusive bounty in their card deck of Imperial baddies is known to the Hutts. Unsurprisingly, the Hutts are happy to trade on this information, in exchange for a favor. The Outer Rim, amirite?

Weirdly, I think there were a couple of Star Wars: Outlaws easter eggs? So if you like that and you liked The Mandalorian, I have great news! …which I already told you, to be clear.

[1] Exceptions: animated or Andor

Blood of Dragons

I have now finished four out of five Robin Hobb serieses. Look at me go!

Blood of Dragons was on the one hand extremely satisfying, because I feel that one of the stories she’s been telling has reached a natural conclusion. I now feel that I know the fate of dragons and the Elderlings, in this world. Of course there’s room to tell more stories if she wanted to, because isn’t there always? But I mean, in broad strokes, this ending has told a complete story.

On the other hand, some of the plot turns were not particularly satisfying at all, because there was no real sense of danger. Which is a very strange thing to say about Hobb, who in the past has been willing to do almost anything to destroy her characters. Example, and without wanting to go into specifics, but there’s a character who is in legitimate danger of death, except that a different character depends on the survival of the first character, and I could not for a second believe the second character was actually in danger, and so therefore, transitively…

At other times, I still felt the danger, so I’m not saying she’s lost the touch or that this was bad, exactly. It just… is not what I was expecting. And maybe one way to reset my expectations is to return to my prior point about how it was clearly the end of a storyline in the overarching tale, and maybe that should leave some room for expecting a happy ending.

But that’s just it. I want Fitz to have a happy ending in the next trilogy, whenever I read it, but I don’t want to feel like it’s a given. Then again, none of the relationships that were in danger felt safe at all, until they were fully resolved. And Fitz’s failures, at least after the first couple of books, were always mostly on the relationship side. So maybe I should stop worrying about not having to worry about.

The Palace of Glass

I have now read three books out of four in the Forbidden Library series, just really quickly compared to my usual pace. This is directly because the boy is just about obsessed with them. When I finished the third book a couple of nights ago, he asked me to immediately start book four, even though I have several books from the library he wanted to read and also a lot of new books in his very favorite series, Press Start[1], chronicling the video game adventures of Super Rabbit Boy, who he dressed as on “bring your favorite book character to school” day.

All of that to say, these are popular in the household. Also legit good; thanks to whoever recommended Django Wexler as an author. I should read one of his adult books sometime!

In The Palace of Glass, our heroine Alice makes plans to support her reactions to the information she gained in book two. …okay, yes, I’m trying to avoid spoilers, but that’s too damn vague. Let me try again.

As I was saying, Alice makes plans to take her revenge on the party or parties that were revealed in the second book as responsible for the death[2] of her father, back at the beginning of book one. But along the way to executing those plans, she gains an inkling of the cost that may accrue if she does. And, as it happens, the inkling she gains is not a fraction of the true cost that might exist. It’s a middle grade book, so I’m not surprised Wexler didn’t dig out the old chestnut about digging two graves, but if he had, he could quickly have turned it around to “or a thousand, and that’s only if you’re lucky.”

The only real kidbook sin the series commits is making Alice maybe a little overpowered. But honestly, I think he does a decent job of earning it? That said, what she’s been relying on so far shouldn’t help nearly as much in the final book. I look forward to learning how things land. Only, not for a few weeks yet. Maybe a couple months?

[1] Too short/young to bother reviewing, but they’re decent. Graphic novels, basically, which in addition to telling game stories have underlying lessons about sharing, family harmony, perseverance, that kind of thing. Good way to push life lessons, if you ask me. There’s a TV series on Peacock, which I should investigate sometime.
[2] Apparent death? Call me a softie, but I’m still not convinced that’s truly what happened. It remains to be seen!

Wicked: For Good

Well that was certainly a sequel to Wicked.

Okay, look, I’m not trying to be mean to Wicked: For Good. I mean, yes the title is kind of dumb and completely undercuts what makes the song it is referencing clever. And yes that song is virtually the only good song in the second half of the musical, but you can hardly blame the movie for its source material, except insofar as it should not be slavishly devoted to it, but, I think creating new, better songs is more difficult to accomplish when you’re adapting a musical, versus just leaving out bad parts or creating new better parts when you’re adapting from some other medium.[1]

My point is, those caveats aside, I did like the first movie, and this has many of the strengths of that movie: lavishly beautiful sets that fulfill the promise of The Wizard of Oz 85 years later and fantastic main character chemistry, for examples. Of course, it is missing some strengths from the first movie as well, such as the aforementioned much less good music and 100% less Peter Dinklage.

Honestly, the biggest problem is that you cannot really just watch the first one and then stop. Maybe in a row without a break, the flaws are less obvious? That is my hope.

[1] Try to diagram that. Haha, I’m kidding, nobody except Mr. Candler remembers how to diagram sentences. I wish I could find him, to say hi.

The Mad Apprentice

Learning that you can just search for stock at Half Price Books on the internet takes away pretty much all of the fun treasure hunting aspect of shopping at the bookstore, but at times like these when you don’t really want to just wait and see how long it will take to find a book and in the meantime your kid just completely forgets what happened last time, there is definitely something to be said for the gains in efficiency.

Which is to say, I’ve read the second book in Django Wexler’s Forbidden Library series, The Mad Apprentice. And yes, okay, it’s a middle grade book about an orphan who discovers she is heir to a magical world but also maybe there’s a guy she wants to kiss even if the physical act of kissing has not crossed her mind as a literal fact yet, even after two full books. But also, I really kind of love the concept.

  1. All books have some capacity for magic, even if it’s just one perfect turn of phrase
  2. Some books are a lot more magical than that, and open portals between locations on earth or to distant real or imagined worlds
  3. Some books imprison creatures, and defeating the creatures within the book (or getting them to agree to serve you) gives you their powers, in a variety of possible ways
  4. The people who have this power, Readers, are kind of the bad guys if you think about it much at all

Alice, the orphan I mentioned, has learned quite a bit about how to be a Reader, so now she’s ready to be thrust into their world due to an unexpected violent circumstance: the death of one of the Master Readers[1], and at the hands of his apprentice no less. Apparently, the other apprentices, in these circumstances[2], gather together and capture the offending apprentice and either deal with him themselves, or else bring him back for the justice of their masters. Which is how Alice finds herself in a group of four other apprentices as well as her friend(?) Isaac, hunting through a labyrinth that is slowly losing its magical power to a) perform whatever justice they decide but also to b) make sure none of the other apprentices loot any powerful book artifacts along the way. Because being able to trust the other people in your posse is way too much to ask, of course.

But also, shouldn’t the labyrinth be a lot more bereft of power and a lot less dangerous than this, without anyone to maintain it?

See what I mean? Good stuff.

[1] She is an apprentice, and the apprentices call them the Old Readers, since among other things they’re basically immortal, and it makes you wonder why have an apprentice system if you don’t really intend to pass on your power at some point, but why ruin a great premise by poking perfect logic at it? But my point was, I think Master Reader fits better.
[2] The fact that it happens often enough for there to be an accepted process is another reason to wonder why have an apprentice at all, but I said I wasn’t doing that.

City of Dragons

I’ll start off by saying for the record that there will be spoilers for earlier books in here. Couldn’t be helped. So if you’re just here to know whether I like Robin Hobb’s third Rain Wilds book so you can decide via my oh so timely intervention whether you ought to read it for yourself, the answer is I do.

As of Dragon Haven, all of the stunted, deformed dragons were successfully relocated. Also, the nice bird keepers really like each other, the musical elderling is having a rough time, the regular dragons remain completely self-absorbed, and that one guy from Bingtown who is a total dick is still a total dick. Thusly opens the second half of the series.

City of Dragons is about two things, more or less. The first thing it is about is exploring Kelsingra. Why do the dragons ancestrally remember this city so fondly? Does the fact that Fitz came here once have any bearing on the plot? Too bad none of them can fly and get here, due to the implausible geography of a vastly wide river that is also constantly in flood, innit? (It’s to a lesser extent also about Thymara’s continued inability to come to grips with her sexuality. She’s still less annoying than Katniss, to be clear.)

The second thing it’s about is the plot’s slow but inexorable progression towards… comeuppance? consequence? confluence? simple climax? Honestly, given the characters involved, I think all of these things apply. In short and with no important specifics, there are a lot of characters heading to Kelsingra. Tarman the liveship barge with supplies, for example, or Hest the trader’s son with perceived privilege.[1] And I think that of the many characters headed in that direction, very few of them have the slightest idea what they’re sailing into. And I think it’s going to be pretty explosive. (Mostly figuratively.)

Of course, this kind of thing can be problematic, cf some of The Wheel of Time. So knowing the next book is the last one helps a lot towards not being extremely disappointed by a book that is more than half “moving pieces around the board”, as does my confidence that this is again the first half of a long book instead of actually two books, even if (happily!) the ending is a lot less abrupt than the first time it happened.

[1] For reasons that make no sense if you have somehow read the previous books but not this one, his scenes were among my favorites.

How to Train Your Dragon (2025)

So, remember when that one movie about training dragons came out? And then 15 years later, they did a live action remake?

Look, I don’t want to say this How to Train Your Dragon is a shot for shot remake of the animated feature, just with human actors in place of the animated voice actors. For one thing, the new one is longer.

But… yeah, the truth is, it’s the same movie. And I already reviewed it once, so.