Tag Archives: French

Le Pacte des Loups

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I legitimately miss having a few movies in a row that I’ve already seen, before needing to watch another new one [for the podcast]. Like, I don’t want this to turn into a chore. Even if I alternated seen it / didn’t see it? That would be better. Or then again, maybe I’m just tired of my phone’s hard drive being full. That would make sense. Or also then again, maybe I just don’t like feeling like I haven’t seen enough horror movies. Even though I objectively have not. Just, usually the knowledge is not so in my face.

Anyway.

This week’s movie (from January 2022 I think) was in the scare of a creepy town and in the style of French. Brotherhood of the Wolf is set in 18th C France, prior to troubles they had as that century wound down. Out in the countryside, a wolf has been terrorizing the populace, as have the King’s men sent to stop it. Into this situation rides a marquis and his Mohawk companion, fresh from the French and Indian War, which I bet was called something else by France. (Impossible to know, really.)

Naturally they are invited to the local lord’s manor, where they meet all the relevant people. The lord, his one-armed son[1], the fetching redhead who I thought was his daughter but later decided might not have been after all, the narrator, and Monica Bellucci. Having done that, they proceed to work on solving the wolf problem, but run afoul of various obstacles, such as the King’s wounded pride, noble savage tropes, and aforementioned fetching redheads.

Honestly, it was fine and for sure would have been better instead of worse if I’d watched it in a row, plus also possibly if I’d watched it subtitled instead of dubbed. But even with those caveats, it was only fine. The thing that will stick with me is nothing in the plot or the humor[2], but the treatment of the Mohawk companion. The marquis tells his (the marquis’) story to someone, and I’m betting it was the redhead, about how his commanding officer had murdered the entire tribe with smallpox blankets, and this led the marquis to help the lone survivor kill his (still the marquis’) whole platoon and then run off back to France as best buds, and, look. This movie was made in 2001, and I’m glad that by then people were secure enough in the idea that genocide is bad to use it as a tool to demonstrate how someone is heroic when he opposes it. Cool.

But at the same time, 2001 is closer to 2026 than it is to when Moby Dick was published, so maybe leaning so hard on the noble savage thing is something we could also have already outgrown by then? Especially when you mix it with a spoiler that was first originated in comics, if you know what I mean, and maybe you do, at that.

[1] There was a whole tragic backstory, which I forgot by accidentally watching this movie spread out over the course of nearly a week
[2] It was definitely funny now and then, enough so to call it out even

Kandisha (2020)

Based on a very narrow sample size of this movie from five years ago, I have to say that I am shocked by how casually racist French kids are with each other. This has nothing to do with the plot of the movie, nor particularly with the character development for that matter. It was just an adjustment I had to make. (Really, it’s probably like how mean girls in like Heathers or Mean Girls call each other bitch, and mean to be endearing. Of course, that doesn’t really sell itself as a solution either, if you give it more than a second’s thought.)

Again, not the point of the movie. So there are these French girls who I think all live in the same apartment building? They for sure go to the same school, or maybe more like used to go to and are now too old for that, but maybe not. Either way, not much schooling happening. And they’re surrounded by their boyfriends and baby daddies and exes and brothers and so on, and they are also spray paint taggers for some reason, with a secret gang tag all their own and everything. It’s very bonding.

Having established all that, two inciting incidents occur in close proximity. In the first, the white girl finds the name Kandisha tagged [by people not them] under some wallpaper, and the Muslim girl recognizes her as a Moroccan legendary figure who takes revenge on behalf of wronged women. Then they jokingly try to summon her, with no results. In the second incident, later that same night, the white girl is brutally attacked and attempted-raped by an ex-. Later still that same night while showering off the blood and detritus of the evening’s events, she tries to summon Kandisha again, with rather stronger results.

The catch is: you can’t really control a vengeance demon, and without almost any pause at all, the innocent[1] men in their lives are dropping like flies. If only there were some way to call her off altogether! Welp, good luck with that.

[1] At the least, more innocent.

Raw (2016)

This week’s movie from Summer 2021 of the podcast was honestly kind of a spoiler as the scare and I forget what as the style, because man I’m bad at this. The downside of talking about Raw is that I’m going to have to jump into those spoilers, because it’s that kind of movie. But not yet!

So there’s this vegetarian chick from a vegetarian veterinarian family, and it’s almost time to go to vet school! But also, vet school is really weird. Source: the movie, but it apparently involves getting hazed by upperclassmen and even professors? Like, the whole incoming class gets Carried, and hell, probably with actual pig blood, why not? They sure have access to some! Plus weird all night mandatory raves and closet makeouts. It’s honestly a lot more like a mixed-gender fraternity than a professional medical school for animals. Er, about animals.

But the thing is, one of the hazings is to eat a pickled rabbit kidney. And kind of like being introduced to the new religious viewpoints (or political viewpoints, or sexual awakenings) that college brings to many people, it just stands to reason that if you give a confirmed lifelong vegetarian a hunk of meat, they’re gonna go all out with it, you know?

Spoilers below.

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