Have you ever wondered what would happen if Alien had never been filmed, and the concept sat on a shelf for 30 years, only to be released today as a Sci-Fi Channel original motion picture, set in an isolated corner of New Mexico rather than in space? And instead of being a bit-player warrant officer, Ripley is a sheriff with a dark secret, hovering on the verge of alcoholism? And instead of being trapped on a ship together, they’re trapped by a closed road and insufficient gas to get to the next town in the other direction? And instead of… well, no, that’s pretty much all of the actual differences. The characters aren’t all identical, I mean, but the four main ones are, which is plenty enough.

My point is, if you’ve ever wondered that, you should really see Unearthed. In the style of Alien, it chronicles the discovery of an alien life form that probably killed all of the Anasazi, has been rediscovered on an archaeological dig, and will now kill all of everyone else if possible. Unless Sheriff Ripley and her doomed companions can find a way to stop it, I mean. …okay, “doomed” sounds like kind of a spoiler there, I guess? I was using literary license; in reality, basically anybody might survive. (Well, not the black guy. You’ve seen a horror movie ever, right?)