The one thing cooler than seeing a fun movie on opening day with a like-minded crowd is having the theater to yourself. You can speak amongst yourselves at volume, spread out, and otherwise enjoy the experience as if you were at home, but with the improved theater experience. (Well, okay, some theaters and some homes result in home being better. But this is rare, so let’s assume it’s the other thing.) In fact, both of the movies I saw on Monday night were in empty theaters. I’ve had maybe one other empty theater experience in my life, so this was quite a surprise. Naturally, then, I didn’t have anyone with me to really enjoy it.

I’ve missed only a couple of horror movies so far this year, and considering how revitalized the genre has been lately, I feel pretty good about that. In this case, Sarah Michelle Gellar is involved, and except for the Grudge claptrap, I’ve seen all her horror. So that much more incentive. Speaking of whom, am I the only person excited about Alice, for which there inexplicably was no preview? It occurs to me, though, that I’m drifting a little afield of the topic at hand, considering I’m already two paragraphs in. Pleasant I don’t have a word limit, then, innit?

The Return is the story of Joanna Mills’ return home after a long absence. Not very scary, eh? Except, why did she leave home in the first place? Tell me that! Oh, right. That’s my job. So, there was an auto accident when she was a little girl, and then a creepy guy was stalking her at a county fair. And then… well, next thing you know, she’s a successful travelling salesman in her twenties who has been avoiding her father and the rural area outside Austin where she grew up for years and years now. And even she can’t exactly explain why, to herself or anyone else. One thing about it, though: you can’t say she was wrong, after the titular return leaves her seeing a second face in the mirror and remembering a town she’s never been to.

I expected a fairly lame horror movie that I’d get to giggle at a lot and then promptly forget about by the time I get around to seeing Turistas next week. (And, ooo, Black Christmas.) Instead, I got a thoughtful, moody, and once or twice downright scary ghost story, with equal parts atonement and revenge. I should point out that the competition guy from her job made no sense whatsoever. But ten minutes of subplot out of an otherwise surprisingly good movie, I can forgive that. Meanwhile, that house (in case I failed to mention, there’s a spooky house in the mix) reminded me a lot of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre house, though I couldn’t specify whether I mean from the original or the remakes. Also, it was fun watching a movie be set in and around Austin, since I know so much of that area and could recognize things. It must be the same way for people from Vancouver and basically every other movie ever. (Not the people from LA, though, they’re too above-it-all to admit to enjoying stuff like that.)