I think it is clear by now that I’m not going to be as timely with my updates as I used to be. It’s been maybe two weeks since I read the first volume of the new Ultimates series? And yet here I am, only now finally remembering that I ought to have reviewed it. (And I think I didn’t see a movie since then? I know I haven’t finished a book, but the lack of certainty is a very sad thing. Man, I miss the normalcy of just reviewing everything right away.) (But in the subsequent week or two since I wrote the rest of this paragraph, I have seen a movie and finished at least (and hopefully at most) two books. So you can see that this is really not going according to my master plan.)

But, so anyway, those Ultimates guys. They are having bad times, which I suppose is pretty much always the way, since they are Nick Fury’s protectors of Earth, like, the whole planet, rather than just fighting random supercriminals like Spider-Man does. In addition to the really crappy turn of events surrounding Hawkeye’s run-in with the latest batch of mutants and Captain America’s recent retirement into shame and seclusion, now it’s time to face a society in an impenetrable fortress who has come from nowhere with the agenda of smacking Earth’s mightiest superheros around like piñatas. To give you an idea of just how bad things are, the first thing that happens is an overwhelming assault on Asgard. You know, the one where all the gods that Thor pals around with come from.

If you’re not entirely clear on when everyone decided to accept that Thor’s divinity is real and not just a matter of cool tech and personal insanity, well, you’re not alone. But why should that stand in the way of amping everything up to 9,000? I, uh, I maybe miss the way the Ultimate universe was being written in 2004, it turns out. Except for Bendis, it looks like any hint of subtlety or human stories is well out the window under the Ultimate Comics imprint. But then again, maybe the first X-Men volume will surprise me?