Nicolas Cage, right? Right?![1] So, he’s an astrophysicist, and his son comes into possession of a sheet of paper full of numbers. Said numbers have been locked in a time capsule for the past fifty years, but they also have predicted every major disaster worldwide over that period. And now that there are only a few numbers left on the list, Nic has a few mysteries to solve. Plus some overacting to perform, including some seriously iffy drunkenness that I actually know he’s capable of in other circumstances. And an out-of-place religious subplot to adhere to.

It’s not that Knowing was actively bad. It had a pretty decent hook, above-average effects, and a whole lot of angel-seeming dudes that all looked like Spike.[2] It’s just that the iffyness sticks out in my head far more, after the fact, than the upsides did. Also, the conclusion was a bizarre departure from the rest of the movie. It’s not really that I can say it contradicted the rest, there were just too many genres for one movie. Someone, somewhere, is far more pretentiously impressed with this movie than they have any real right to be.

[1] I really, really wish I had it in me to stop the review right there, including not having added this footnote.
[2] Said confluence of role and appearance leads to a pop-culture pun which pleases me to no end.